you are living with the person who is abusing you, here are
some things you can do to ensure your and your children's safety:
- Have important phone numbers memorized.
These are friends and relatives whom you can call in an
emergency. If your children are old enough, teach them important
phone numbers, including when and how to dial 911.
- Keep this information in a safe place-Where
your abuser won't find it, but where you can get it when
you need to review it.
- Keep change for pay phones with you
at all times.
- If you can, open your own bank account.
- Stay in touch with friends-Get to
know your neighbors. Resist any temptation to cut yourself
off from people, even if you feel like you just want to
be left alone.
- Rehearse your escape plan until you
know it by heart-Let your neighbors know of any secret codes
(such as flashing the outside lights) that you may use if
you are in danger and need them to call the police.
- Leave a set of car keys, extra money,
a change of clothes, and copies of the following documents
with a trusted friend or relative:
- Your and your children's birth certificates
- Your children's school and medical records
- Bank books d. Welfare identification
- Passports or green cards
- Your and your children's social security cards
- Lease agreements or mortgage payment books
- Insurance papers
- Important addresses and telephone numbers
- Any other important documents
Safety after you have left the abusive
- Once you no longer live with the abuser,
here are some things you can do to enhance your and your
- Change the locks-If you're still in
your home and the abuser is the one who has left. Do not
hide the keys to your home outside.
- Install as many security features
as possible in your home-These might include metal doors
and gates, security alarm system, smoke detectors, outside
lights and dead bolt locking systems.
- Inform neighbors that your former
partner is not welcome on the premises-Ask them to call
the police if they see that person loitering around your
property or watching your home.
- Make sure the people who care for
your children are very clear about who does and who does
not have permission to pick up your children including;
day care centers, friends and family members, bus drivers
and the school system.
- Obtain a restraining order, if applicable
(see criteria in another section of this site)-Carry the
protective order with you at all times. If confronted by
the defendant at all, report the contact immediately to
the local police.
- Let your co-workers know about the
situation-If your former partner is likely to come to your
workplace to bother you. Ask them to warn you if they observe
that person around.
- Use caution when visiting stores,
banks and businesses that you used when you were living
with the abuser.
- If you feel that you and your family
are in extreme danger, you may consider relocating to a
different location until the matter is settled. If you feel
that you or your family are in danger at any time, call
emergency 9-1-1 immediately.
- Talk to someone you trust-Attend workshops.
Join support groups. Talk to a counselor. Do whatever it
takes to form a supportive network that will be there when
you need it. If your children have witnessed violence make
sure that they also have access to talking with someone
about the trauma.
Create a Personal Safety Plan and share
it with a friend.
There are people who care about you and
your situation and who are willing and ready to help.
You are not alone.