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Pattern Behavior
Remember that domestic violence involves a pattern of different behaviors. These are some of the behaviors that indicate that a relationship involves domestic violence:

Verbal Abuse:

* Constant criticism
* Making humiliating remarks
* Not responding to what a partner is saying
* Mocking
* Name-calling
* Yelling
* Swearing
* Interrupting
* Changing the subject
* Being obscene
* Raising his/her voice
* Using angry expressions or gestures

Isolation:

* Preventing or making it difficult for partners to see or talk to friends and relatives
* Listening in on phone calls
* Reading mail
* Taking the partner's car keys
* Demanding to know where the partner is going

Coercion:

* Making the partner feel guilty
* Sulking
* Pushing the partner into decisions
* Always insisting on being right
* Making impossible 'rules' and punishing the partner for breaking them
* Making a partner do illegal things
* Displaying manipulating behavior
* Pressure tactics - using guilt and/or accusations
* Manipulating children and/or family members

Economic Control:

* Withholding money, the car and/or other resources
* Not paying bills
* Sabotaging the partner's attempt to work
* Refusing to work and support the family
* Withholding help with childcare or housework
* Not taking fiscal responsibility or following through on agreements

Psychological Abuse:

* Criticism (name-calling, swearing, mocking, put downs, ridiculing, accusing, blaming)
* Changing topics
* Not listening/responding
* Twisting words
* Defining partners behavior
* Controlling the truth

Emotional Withholding:

* Not expressing feelings
* Not paying attention
* Not respecting the partner's feelings, rights and opinions
* Withholding emotional support
* Not paying compliments
* Not taking the partner's concerns seriously

Abusing Trust:

* Lying
* Being unfaithful
* Breaking promises
* Withholding important information
* Being overly jealous

Self Destructive Behavior:

* Abusing drugs and/or alcohol
* Threatening self-harm or suicide
* Knowingly doing things that will cause trouble

 

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